Vous savez ce moment ou vous realisez que lorsque cest une journee speciale pour vous, que cest VOTRE journee et que tout ce que vous demandez est que les personnes les plus importantes pour vous prennent en compte de ne pas vous ignorer au moins pour cette journee, mais quau final, vous etes toujours seul. Cest pas la premiere fois pourtant, chaque annee cest la meme histoire, mais on sentete a esperer que cette annee soit differente.
Ces mon cas.
Ma journee vient a peine de commencer que la personne que jaime le plus au moins nest pas foutu de simplement sortir des couverture avant que je quitte la maison afin de simplement me souhaiter bonne journee. Ou bien ces autres qui sont sencer maimer qui ne sont pas foutu de se rappeler que cest supposer etre une journee speciale aujourdhui.
Je sais que cest gamin, je sais que je devrais grandir, mais merde cest juste UNE seule fucking journee dans ma vie. La seule ostie de journee que je demande vraiment a ceux que jaime de maccorder leur attention. .
Vous me juger peut etre, mais on fond, je sais quon es tous pareille.
My life had been changing in the last few months.. Starting with happy cries, followed by despear and sickness. I started to feel better again and enjoy that new life growing in me, and then again, they told me her life is fragile and that every effort I do, can kill ourselves.
I am only half way of having her in my arms, and I now know that I will need to stay as calm as possible for the next 4 months. I already feel the pain growing on me. Not only physically, but also mentally. The lonelyness, to know that I can't go outside for a walk.. That's worse then I thought, but it's worth it.
Even just going at the grocery store for few things took me more than an hour, and I was feeling like I was going to pass out. I don't have much energy anymore, and my nights are only a time that I pass in the dark looking at those walls that are around me all day long.
I know it's worth it, and I really love this little life growing in me.. But then, why do I feel like I am slowly loosing myself and becoming only a shadow.
This is not her life that I put in cause, but my attitude and my feelings. People around me keep saying that it must be fun to rest at home all day, not cleaning anything and just staying in bed. Well I have news for you guys. This is not fun. I am suppose to be the most happier person in the world right now, but is it really fun and enjoyable to be happy alone? Between those four walls that I see all day long?
This is the questions I am trying to answer since all of that began.
So, my little sweet heart, let your time arrive and come in my arms, like that we will can enjoy life together <3